The Ward Brothers (and Nine Deluxe Spanners), 143 all out, lost to Flamstead, 146-6, by 4 wickets Marc Ward won the toss. Adam Ward top-scored with 62. Offley lost. Some things don't change Well, the gap between Offley and safety only gets larger but at this stage of the season it's fair to say that ship has sailed. Or smashed into a fucking great iceberg. Confused by winning the toss, Ward decided to bat first on a slow, low deck that made Offley look like Perth. Tight bowling, a lack of bounce and a lack of form kept Offley quiet before Richie Barker perished for a 25-ball duck, paying the price for hitting the ball off the square. The only thing longer was the name of the bowler who got him out - one Thavin Sankana Thilakarathna Asurapmudalige. In contrast to Barker, Scott Boatwright, recently arrived back from Japan, batted with freewheeling panache to make 6 from 24 balls before lobbing a catch to cover. That brought the Ward Brothers together and they plundered a rapid

  OSCC, 143-9, lost to Rickmansworth, 201-6, by 58 runs Imagine a day where everything that could go wrong did go wrong, a day that ended with Offley dropping to the bottom of Division Nine West. And there you essentially have the story of Offley's latest defeat. It was a day that began with Offley in eighth place, still hopeful of chasing down Leverstock Green in seventh and avoiding yet another relegation. It somehow ended with them rock bottom of the table, staring up at not just Leverstock Green but also the hitherto hapless Old Albanians and Luton Indians, both of whom recorded upset victories elsewhere. It's hard to know where to start. With Marc Ward losing the toss and being invited to field? With Josh Scott making his way to the ground in the world's slowest uber, driven by a man who obeyed speed limits and traffic laws and missing the first two overs? With the returning Kaiz Ul Haq apparently forgetting his way to the ground and missing the first five overs? With