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Dazzy L

  The name's Bond. James Bond. James. Never Jim. Or Jimmy. Or Jimbo. Or Jack.  For years Offley stalwart Darren Lunney has insisted that like 007 (which is roughly what he's currently averaging with the bat) the name's Darren. Not Daz. Not Dazzer. Not D-Train. Not D-Dawg. Not Dee. Darren. However, if you've had the pleasure of visiting the Luton & Dunstable Hospital recently (obviously pleasure is a fairly loose term) you may have noticed a new dining establishment just across the road. For our purposes we won't concern ourselves with the exact pronounciation, merely how it can be pronounced. Which is to say Dazzy L. So remember in future it's not Daz. It's not Dazzer. It's not D-Train. It's not D-Dawg. It's not Dee. And it's not Darren either. It's Dazzy L. He'll like that.
Recent posts

Two Club Wanker

  Judas Iscariot (former mate of Jesus). Sol Campbell (Spurs and Arsenal). Steve Bexfield (Offley and St Joseph's). Luke Ronchi (Australia and New Zealand). Not a list with which you really want to be associated when it comes to treachery and two-club wankers.  In fairness Ronchi only swapped Australia for New Zealand out of shame when his dismissal at the hands of Bexfield came to light. However, to the list of the treacherous and duplicitous we must now add who we thought was one of our own (even if we did technically lure him away from Harpenden). The sight of Offley's OBP (Official Best Player) Ben Wiles kissing the Datchworth badge is a sad day for the club. The last time I felt so betrayed by an act of cricketing treason was last summer when Ian Laidler and Wayne Cutts made intricate plans behind my back to go and see Judashire in the t20 quarterfinals. Fortunately Judashire fucked it up and didn't qualify for the quarters so it was a happy ending - although possibly

Boaty, Battery & Buffoonery

  Offley & Stopsley, 184 all out, lost to Sandridge, 185-7, by three wickets   Buffoon - a ridiculous but amusing person; a clown Following a string of defeats to better teams, Offley opted to mix things up a little at Sandridge by losing to a team they were clearly better than - barring one man with one shot. Along the way there were dropped catches, bullies being bullied, silly shots, interesting clothing choices and myriad examples of buffoonery, the majority of which were displayed by Offley's principle buffon - at least in the eyes (and ears) of Sandridge.  Josh Scott, still in search of his first away win as captain in his second season in the Saracens League, won the toss and opted to bat. A firm deck, sunny day and short boundary on one side made it a good day to be a batsman and the Brothers Ward marched out together to open the innings. On a good day Adam Ward is a peerless driver of a cricket ball, a left-hander who drives like a ginger Lara. Unfortunately on this da

And We're Back..............

  Josh Scott, 36, lost to Cranfield, 174, by 138 runs (OSCC, 57 all out, lost to Cranfield by 117 runs) It was a day where Josh Scott single-handedly helped Offley avoid their lowest ever total (43). It was a day when Umpire Wayne Cutts ran amok and single-handedly decimated his own batting order (admittedly the fella who took 6-6 might disagree slightly with that). It was a day where six hours spent in A&E and the prospect of a summer of scans and tests seemed preferable to being part of the carnage. It was a day which was hopefully not a sign of things to come as only 10 men could be cajoled on to the field. Considering the Christians usually managed a full compliment in the Colliseum against the Lions this was a little disappointing for the first game of the year. Above all it was a day where the early promise of two friendly victories was swept away in comprehensive fashion as Cranfield stormed to victory, Swapnil claiming as many wickets (6) as eight Offley batsmen combined fo

Field of Screams

  Considering we combined to shell 78 catches between us last year it's slightly worrying that in 2023 Offley & Stopsley might be putting the worst fielding side in history on the pitch. That's not something to be said lightly of a club that once used to hold the Milk Floats of Fire contest to determine the slowest player. The only greyhound connected with the club is owned by Secretary Matthew Taylor.  And the fact Matty T got landed with the secretary job shows he's clearly lost some of his speed and mental agility. A combination of the slow, the aged, the weighty and the infirm (and that's just Luke Munt's medical notes) look set to go into action when the season gets underway next month. It's not helped by the fact two of the younger members of the club, James Barker and Kaiz Ul Haq, are away at university for the start of the season. JB only plays on a Sunday and Kaiz is rumoured to be taking his 20 career ducks from 66 innings to Potten End on a Saturd

Player Profile #25: Cliff Large

  These days Cliff Large tends to limit his appearances for Offley to about one a year, preferring to spend his time on the golf course or offering support and encouragement from the boundary edge. It's safe to say in 2023 that Cliff is more about the pars (occasional) and the bars (plentiful) than wickets and economy rates. Yet there was a time when Large's gentle swing proved fatal for opponents.  These days the swing on the golf course is markedly less gentle and reminiscent more of a Saxon Housecarl dying hard in the final moments at Hastings, sweeping his blade through the air looking for Frenchmen to smite. By the end of the 2022 season only eight bowlers in Offley history had taken more wickets than Cliff's 179. As a young man - and there are cave drawings to support this - Cliff relied on pace, bounce and an intimidatory stare to weaken a batsman's resolve. Yet at the height of his Offley heyday, Cliff relied upon guile and craft and the ability to make a ball m

Player Profile #24: Adam Ward

  Adam Ward might not be the best batsman in his own family (his career average of 14.97 leaves him in the slipstream of brother Marc's 15.32 record) but in 2022 he recorded the highest score by an Offley batsman for eight years and also the fifth highest score ever.  In the context of last year it probably goes without saying that Offley lost but in fairness it wasn't really Adam's fault, especially as he took two of the three Queens Park wickets to fall in a miserly spell of 7-0-64-2, a performance that made Peter Gilkes look economical. While it may be tempting to regard that knock as something of an outlier (he failed to average 10 in his other innings last year), there has never been any doubting Ward's class. To see him drive through the covers or mid off early in his innings is to see a batsman of real pedigree. Sometimes he even makes contact with the ball. Sadly the Offley scorebooks are littered with entries along such lines of Ward bowled 0 or  Ward bowled 1

The Offley Aquatics Centre

  Offley & Stopsley C.C. are delighted to announce the opening of the new Offley Aquatics Centre on the site of the old pavilion.   The new facility features a shallow end in what was once the away dressing room. The kitchen end boasts the deep end and enough water to encourage diving from the top of the kitchen worktop. Elsewhere the site also boasts the Joshua Hook Paddling Pool for younger children who need time to cool off. Unfortunately there are still no showers - at least nit unless the roof has also given way in the wake of this weekend's torrential downpours. It is hoped the Aquatics Centre will also encourage wildlife - after so many ducks were seen in the middle last year there are expectations that they may make themselves at home in the pavilion wetlands. With nets still five weeks away the opening of the Aquatic Centre means an opportunity to get ready for the new season and as the above picture shows, the Offley Synchronised Appealing Squad are already getting in

Play Nicely...

Interesting update regarding social media and the ECB's latest dictate from their ivory tower.... "Recently, there have been an increasing number of social media posts that contravene the ECB’s new General Conduct Regulations. These GCR’s prohibit the posting of derogatory, defamatory, or discriminatory comments by any participant, (player, umpire, spectator, club member, club etc.), about any other participant on any social media platform or Club website.   "Clubs and participants should be aware the penalties for such posts range from player bans/suspensions to point deductions, with such transgressions posted to the League’s Disciplinary Update report for all to see.    "Apart from the above penalties, please think how you would feel if someone posted about you, what you post about someone else." This represents a new and exciting development, an entreaty to take a deep breath before you tweet and not say anything remotely controversial about suffering nine l

Knobbed Out at Knebworth

  48 hours before the start of the Herts Trophy semi-final OSCC and Aldenham were still in the same division. By the time the game got underway there were three divisions between the sides, Aldenham going up one flight as a result of finishing runners-up in Division 8A, Offley dropping down two tiers as a result of finishing rock bottom. To that end the result was perhaps not a great shock. Ben Wiles won the toss but that was about as good as it got as Offley's bowlers were subjected to 20 overs of toil. Aldenham piled up 176-5 and then immediately reduced Offley to 6-2 with key men Wiles and Jono Evetts back in the hutch.  Not for the first time this year the top order disintegrated with only standout performer Mark Tattersall (28 & 2-26) emerging from the rubble with a great deal of credit. Aldenham went on to beat Potten End in the final (they racked up 190-5 which suggests we did quite well to hold them to 176) so fair play to them.  On the plus side Eaton Bray lost to Ware