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The Worst Offley Batting Line-up In History? Maybe. The Worst Offley Batting Month In History? Probably


One of the great landmarks in cricket is to score 1000 first class runs before the end of May. 

Only eight men have reached the milestone (Bradman did it twice) and no one has done it since Graeme Hick in 1988.

This season Offley have got off to what might be politely termed a slow start - Stephen Hawking climbing Everest without assistance would have made swifter progress.

Seven matches have been played and six defeats have been racked up, including five out of five in the league.

Only a victory over the Shillington Spitfires has interrupted the run of losses.

Apropos of nothing, Shillington's nickname of the Spitfires is worth taking on board for the next time we rebrand.

Offley is named after King Offa, the man who ordered the construction of Offa's Dyke (Google it).

Consequently is it not time to jettison the lion logo in favour of a new inclusive 21st century image, the Offley Dykes, complete with a logo of two lipstick lesbians doing what Offley do best?

Going down....

Think of the funding opportunities.

Anyway, back to the cricket.

Needless to say no Offley batter has reached 1000 runs before the end of May.

More to the point no one has actually reached 100; James Barker leads the way with 85.

Steve Bexfield is the only man to have scored a half-century.

Rather shockingly in 59 trips to the crease Offley's batters have combined to score just 626 runs off the bat.

Actually that should be 625 runs but Jamie Cummins was awarded a pity run instead of a bye to ensure he finished 1 not out from 9 balls at the end of the innings instead of 0 not out.

As a result of this (although in fairness a risibly named bowling "attack" and a fielding unit that hasn't caught anything since Covid haven't helped much), Offley find themselves rock bottom of the Saracens League and one off the foot of the table in the Bedfordshire League.

It may be early days but if the writing is not to be daubed in the wall in huge letters by the end of June it's probably about time Offley's batters figured out it's not a crime to hit the ball off the square.

Although judging by how many of them have had their stumps rearranged so far, just hitting the sodding thing might be a useful start...


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