OSCC, 164-8, beat Eaton Bray, 94 all out, by 70 runs
Said Boaty unto Matty
"It looks like you're the fatty"
"It's weight of runs that matter
And I'm the better batter"
And so they staged a duel
To see if weight would conquer all
Boaty went out first
And if not quite at his worst
He scratched around a bit
And really looked quite shit
He played and missed a lot
The inside edge was his best shot
Then an Offley wicket fell
And Matty heard the bell
His breasts were seen to jiggle
As he marched out to the middle
His arse dragging in his wake
The result of eating so much cake
Off the mark was Taylor swift
He gave the run rate a quick lift
And while Boaty joined the dots
Matty T played all the shots
The runs began to flow
Though the running was quite slow
They spread the field for Taylor
He had no fear of failure
He smashed the ball for four
Then he smashed a couple more
But soon was breathing hard
Though he'd barely run a yard
Then at the other end
Boaty finally joined his friend
And cleared the boundary rope
With a desperate top-edged grope
He played the shot again
But missed and 'twas the end
Boaty had to walk off slowly
Tits and shoulders sagging lowly
However he'd made twenty
And for Boaty that's quite plenty
But he was still in quite a rage
As he left Taylor centre stage
Taylor was the better batter
The polls also said he was the fatter
And he stroked a couple more
Though they didn't go for four
So he had a mighty heave
And was bowled for twenty-three
Matty left the pitch to cheers
Already thinking of the beers
He and Boaty shared a hug
Like they often share a jug
And the less-fat batter had to say
"The fatter batter won the day"
As a man Taylor's top draw
And this day he made top score
And those there yesterday
Will always have to say
Matty set Offley on their way
To hammer Eaton Bray
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