Skip to main content

The Ballad of the Broken Batsman

 


In 1859 the American abolitionist John Brown was executed after the doomed raid on Harper's Ferry, an event that sparked the American Civil War.

This act inspired the song John Brown's Body Lies A Moldering In The Grave with it's world-renowned chorus of Glory, Glory, Hallelujah.

Today, we remember John Brown, known to his followers as the Wrathful Cloud of God, and his famous tune and pay tribute to a contemporary cricketer with this, The Ballad of the Broken Batsman.


The Ballad of the Broken Batsman


He walked out to the middle for he'd looked death in the eye

Doctors told him to retire but he said he'd have another try

He hoped that he'd be served up with a tasty juicy pie

Now he ain't gonna bat no more


(Chorus)

Glory, glory hallelujah

The bowler ripped it right back through ya

It was hitting middle stump but you stomped off with the hump

Said you ain't gonna bat no more


He took his guard and settled in, he waited for the ball

His eyes lost all expression, his skin assumed a deathly pall

If you didn't know him better you'd swear that his name was Saul

Now he ain't gonna bat no more


(Chorus)


The bowler started running in from 30 yards away

He knew if he survived one ball, the bowling he would flay

Alas it was just destined it was not to be his day

Now he ain't gonna bat no more


(Chorus)


The ball hammered the batter's pad, the bowler gave a shout

The umpire considered it, he didn't have much doubt

And so he raised his finger and then he said "That's out"

Now he ain't gonna bat no more


(Chorus)


He turned and left the middle and he walked off to the side

He tried to keep his dignity, he tried to keep his pride

And then he muttered something about a fucking great big stride

Now he ain't gonna bat no more


(Chorus)


Now the batter knows we love him and he knows we want him back

And we hope that he relents and that he has another crack

And I really hope he doesn't think I've stabbed him in the back

Cos I want him to bat once more


Glory, glory hallelujah

You don't want it to end like this do ya?

I know you've got the hump but t'would have knocked out middle stump

Please come back and bat once more

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dotting Davis's Defiantly Dogged Determination Delays Dispiriting Defeat

  O SCC, 113-8, lost to MK Warriors, 171-8, by 58 runs Since the dawn of time man has sought to take on fresh challenges and scale new heights. Man has walked on the moon. Everest has been conquered. The 10-second barrier for the 100 metres has been shattered. Americans elected a massive orange twat as President.  Twice. Britain elected a gormless, unprincipled and spineless dipshit as Prime Minister.  So far only once but let's see where we are in another four years. Marc Ward won a game as captain. And yet as Sinead O'Connor might have put it, nothing compares 2 u, John Davis, on finally joining the Offley Double Figures Club (DFC) at just the 38th time of asking. Davis reeled off a breathtaking series of strokes as he scored a sublime 13 to lift his career average up to 2.378378378. Mysteriously and unfairly spurned as a bowler of late by a succession of captains, Davis has grabbed the opportunity to reinvent himself as a stoical middle order bastion of blockage. On a ...

Ten Down; Seven Up

  OSCC, 24 (Twenty-four) all out, lost to Ampthill 28-3, by seven wickets Vietnam. You weren't there, man. You don't know! Across the United States grizzled veterans sit in bars and legion halls sipping Wild Turkey and Jack Daniel's and recount the horrors of the Tet Offensive, Khe Sanh and the fall of Saigon. Many years from now, the shattered remnant of Jamie Cummins' Dark Command may recall their trip to Ampthill with similar dread. It started well enough for the debutant captain who won the toss and elected to bat first on a good deck on a hot day. What happened over the next 11 overs was something that had not been seen in the 28 years of the club's sometimes illustrious and occasionally infamous history. This was infamy at its most infamous. With the club's all-time leading run scorer, Steve Bexfield, nowhere to be seen, absent either due to a miscommunication or because he was late as usual, saw the scorebaord from the road and thought sod this for a game...

R Don Stiffs Offley

 OSCC, 133-4, lost to Flamstead, 136-5, by five wickets Less than twenty-four hours after Scott Boatwright came within a single blow of a maiden century and Offley's fielders dissolved in the rain by dropping eight catches out of ten, the sun set on another season in the semi-finals of the Hertfordshire Village Trophy. A team bearing little resemblance to the one that had qualified for the last four, one that had been ripped apart by anniversaries, weddings and holidays, produced a spirited performance with a lineup held together by children's prayers and angels' kisses, relying on the presence of the Great Samdani to add a little stardust to proceedings. Following a delayed start due to heavy overnight rain, Ben Wiles inevitably lost the toss and Offley were asked to bat first on a green pitch tinged with green. Richie Barker and Dan Goord opened the batting, reprising the 2024 final where they shared an epic stand of 1 and were both back in the hutch within two overs. Aft...