OSCC, 138 all out, lost to Chorleywood, 139-6, by four wickets Offley maintained their perfect start to the season by losing for the sixth time in six outings at Chorleywood. Marc Ward extended his record as captain to 0-13. It might be argued that 13 is an unlucky number but in all honesty his other 12 games in charge haven't exactly been a raging success. Ward hasn't even won the toss yet this year. In many ways this was a typical Offley performance. Ward played another wanker's special (a lone hand) at the top of the order as he top-scored with 66 while the other 10 batters contributed 60 between them. Jamie Cummins crammed more dots into an innings than smugglers cramming illegal immigrants into a small dinghy. Richie Barker had another one of his special little diva moments and announced his retirement at tea. And, just when it seemed the game might prove a dramatic twist, Offley encountered a matchwinner in the opposition ranks they could do nothing about. Ward lost...

 OSCC, 127-7, lost to Wolverton, 131-2, by 8 wickets That went well. Offley & Stopsley kicked off another league season with a less than narrow defeat as Jamie Cummins earned more nicknames than he pinched singles off the 42 deliveries he faced. By the time the dust had settled, new opening batsman Jamie, a man who looks like the lovechild of serial killers Rose West and Dennis Nielsen had strangled the life out of his own innings and picked up the nicknames Pol Dot (another mass murderer), Cotton (as in Dot), Harry Dotter, the Waiting Wall, the Sponge (soaks up pressure and deliveries) and also acquired a mail-order bride in the shape of Way Ting. And he genuinely thought the worst thing that was going to happen to him this weekend was at the Hawthorns. 10-man Offley won the toss and elected to bat on a bouncy track where 180 looked to be the minimum score and Cummins and Marc Ward set out to open the innings. Ward walked out with his bat, Cummins went out with a shovel and tr...