Player Profile #4: Scott Boatwright

During his time at Offley Scott Boatwright has demonstrated many talents and abilities.

As the epitome of a first grade club man, Boaty is always happy to help out, whether it's picking people up, bringing along bottles of water, attending meetings and generally doing whatever he can.

He does whatever he can on the pitch as well.

As captain of the Sunday Specials Boaty has to juggle three jobs - captain, keeper and batsman.

There's no questioning his captaincy skills. After two games this season Offley were top of the league and threatening to run away with the prestigious Division Four crown and plans for an open-top bus celebration around Offley were under discussion.

Three games later and they're fourth and looking at another season of midtable mediocrity.

Those who have seen him struggle to simply hold on to the ball when it comes through to him will know that juggling is not easy for him.

Boaty's technique behind the stumps has been variously compared to a sealion catching the ball, a monkey banging cymbals together and a drowning blind man flailing optimistically for salvation as he sinks below the surface.

Despite that he has managed 18 dismissals since the start of 2020, leading the way with 8 last year and adding another 10 already in 2021.

As of the most recent match with Lutonians he has 41 catches and 15 stumpings.

Yet what of Boaty the Batsman?

Using one's best David Attenborough voice one must pose the question, is it possible for a batsman to survive for long in the middle if he only has one shot?

A career average of 11.67 suggests that despite being able to play the swivel pull off his hip with rare aplomb it is difficult to flourish and survive for any length of time.

Admittedly it's even harder to survive when sabotaged by a team-mate as he was at Aspley Guise, especially as that day Boaty knew he would score runs.

https://twitter.com/OSCricketClub/status/1396595511780651011

A lack of juicy deliveries on leg stump (and Dan's calling) means Boaty has struggled for runs in the league this season, mustering just 16 at 3.2 through the first five matches.

"Feed the Boat and he will score" is a catchy chant but if there are no leg stump long hops available the Boat faces immediate extinction upon his arrival at the crease.

However, there is plenty of time to turn that around and sunnier days surely lie around the corner.

Boat Aid - a charity scheme designed to help Boaty increase his tally of runs - was launched at the end of June, 2021 and met with great popular approval.

BOAT AID (realoffleycricket.blogspot.com)

Did You Know: Boaty may be the only man in history to attempt to gain entry to the casino while dressed as a duck.

Comments

Taylormade Triumph

OSCC, 164-8, beat Eaton Bray, 94 all out, by 70 runs Said Boaty unto Matty "It looks like you're the fatty" "It's weight of runs that matter And I'm the better batter" And so they staged a duel To see if weight would conquer all Boaty went out first And if not quite at his worst He scratched around a bit And really looked quite shit He played and missed a lot The inside edge was his best shot Then an Offley wicket fell And Matty heard the bell His breasts were seen to jiggle As he marched out to the middle His arse dragging in his wake The result of eating so much cake Off the mark was Taylor swift He gave the run rate a quick lift And while Boaty joined the dots Matty T played all the shots The runs began to flow Though the running was quite slow They spread the field for Taylor He had no fear of failure He smashed the ball for four Then he smashed a couple more But soon was breathing hard Though he'd barely run a yard Then at the other end Boaty

The Darkest Day

OSCC 189-8 beat Bedford 107 all out by 82 runs And so it came to pass on Sunday September 3rd, 2023, that the curse of Captain Scott was fulfilled as Scott Boatwright's men joined Josh Scott's hapless crew in taking the relegation plunge. After 26 years of cricket as Offley & Stopsley CC, the 2023 vintage have achieved what no one else could, or have indeed really come close to. The Double Dip. Offley headed into the game having lost 15 of their past 17 Beds League games dating back to the end of last season. Despite including four TCWs (Two Club Wankers) in Ben Wiles, James Barker, Kaiz Ul Haq and Little Man of Many Cubs himself, Rehaan Samdani, Offley failed to stay up despite inflicting a crushing defeat on Bedford, the one team in the division inept enough to finish below us. Kaiz made his highest score for the club, registering his first league 50 and top-scoring with 56. Wiles made 31 and Barker did what Barker does, namely running amok amid the tail like a blood-

#WardyOut

OSCC, 181-4, beat Old Albanians, 154-9, by 27 runs It might have taken a while but on a day where skipper Marc Ward was absent in a bid to seduce Snow White along with six similarly diminutive accomplices, Offley finally found a way to win a game. Perhaps it was because Old Albanians were even more hopeless than Offley; perhaps because even a blind squirrel sometimes finds an acorn and on this day Dan Goord located the middle of the bat; and perhaps the addition of Ben Southgate, someone who clearly knows what he is doing, combined to lead Offley to their first league victory of the season. For some reason Offley, a team who can at times consider themselves fortunate to play on a needle-strewn, dog-shit littered, pikey-infested council wasteland, found themsleves playing on one of the premier venues in Hertfordshire and raised their game accordingly. They might have found a way to drop eight catches (in fairness only four players shelled a catch but each of them compensated by droppi

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