Skip to main content

Player Profile #8: Kaiz Ul-Haq

 



An aggressive all-rounder with an eye for a Mars Bar, Kaiz Ul-Haq, made his debut for Offley in 2019.

He was introduced to the club by former fast bowler turned rapper C.J. McIlveen. 

If C.J. was the mentor, Kaiz was the protege, the Lil' Kim to C.J.'s Notorious B.I.G. 

Kaiz's first two years at the club were relatively inauspicious - Lil' Kim might reasonably have expected to make a bigger impact with bat and ball.

Actually those first two seasons aspired to being classed as highly as inauspicious. 

In fact they were spectacularly awful.

Kaiz batted 16 times in his first two seasons. 

In that period he amassed eight ducks and mustered just 60 runs at an average of 5.00, failing to even reach double figures until his second season.

After narrowly losing out in 2019 to Scott Boatwright, Kaiz claimed the Duck Award in 2020 on countback. 

There would appear to be a reasonable chance of history repeating itself in 2021 but there's still a long way to go; for one thing Matty Taylor is making a comeback next week.

If bowlers regarded Kaiz as a walking wicket, someone to be welcomed to the crease and then promptly sent back to the pavilion, batsmen were delighted to see his introduction into the attack.

Eight wickets at 56.37 did not suggest great things, nor did a propensity to be launched into the trees every over.

However, over the course of the winter and lockdown Kaiz reinvented himself, electing to bulk up in a bid to clear point rather than just slicing catches to the infield. 

Casting aside the influence of his former mentor, Offley's Lil' Kim rebranded himself as Lil' Ali with spectacular results. 

Having started eating pies and stopped bowling them, Lil' Ali has already claimed 15 wickets in 2021 and has established himself as part of the infamous Unholy Trinity of Spin. Despite some fairly unhelpful early season conditions Kaiz, James and Richie Barker have already shared 50 wickets between them.

Kaiz has also shown significant improvement with the bat and if he is never destined to be mistaken for the Master Blaster, the Bangor Banger (Lil' Ali hopes to attend Bangor University) has shown the benefits of bulking up.

Even if his last two dismissals were both caught at point.

He already has a career high score this year - an innings that helped plunder victory at Queens Park when he was dropped at point before being caught at point - and has made more runs in 2021 than in 2019-20 combined.

Bowlers might not yet be trembling at the prospect of encountering the Haq Attack but there's no doubting Lil' Ali's ability to clear the ropes.

Kaiz has made clear his contempt for the concept of the forward defensive shot (in comparison to Kaiz's flailing flashing blade, that other free swinger, Desmond from Jesmond, looks like Chris Austin) and is at his best when attempting to bring down satellites. 

His fielding remains a work of progress and it's not clear where he will end up - possibly at first slip if his waistline maintains its current expansion strategy along the lines of Inzamam Ul-Haq proportions. 

For the moment it is only fair and accurate to point out that as of June 21, 2021, Kaiz has as many catches to his credit as he has ducks (10).

Did You Know: Lil' Ali does not appreciate being called Lil' Ali.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

R Don Stiffs Offley

 OSCC, 133-4, lost to Flamstead, 136-5, by five wickets Less than twenty-four hours after Scott Boatwright came within a single blow of a maiden century and Offley's fielders dissolved in the rain by dropping eight catches out of ten, the sun set on another season in the semi-finals of the Hertfordshire Village Trophy. A team bearing little resemblance to the one that had qualified for the last four, one that had been ripped apart by anniversaries, weddings and holidays, produced a spirited performance with a lineup held together by children's prayers and angels' kisses, relying on the presence of the Great Samdani to add a little stardust to proceedings. Following a delayed start due to heavy overnight rain, Ben Wiles inevitably lost the toss and Offley were asked to bat first on a green pitch tinged with green. Richie Barker and Dan Goord opened the batting, reprising the 2024 final where they shared an epic stand of 1 and were both back in the hutch within two overs. Aft...

Hats & Hat Tricks

  OSCC, 180-6, lost to Luton Town & Indians, 240-9, by 60 runs On a day where Shane Jones took a hat trick, two Offley batsmen walked off at the end with unbeaten half-centuries and Jamie Cummins sustained a torn hamstring that is certain to make him a slow-moving favourite among Tenerife's looky-looky men when he arrives on Wednesday (Jamie will be back on Sunday with his hair in cornrows, several Rolexes and a dozen pairs of sunglasses), there really is only one place to start. With Kaiz Ul-Haq's hat. Sporting a fantastic piece of millinery that made him look like a cross between Audery Hepburn and a slightly effete Indiana Jones and is available exclusively from Young Man at Roger's  as part of their Junior Arms Dealer Collection , Kaiz brought a touch of international panache to proceedings. Relegation-threatened Offley arrived at Potton to take on table-topping Luton and promptly lost the toss consigning them to an afternoon chasing leather in the sunshine. Had Cum...

150 Not Out: Boat Aid II

It would be easy to write the usual stuff after a hectic three games in four days that have seen us fight our way through to another trip to finals day, storm up to fourth in the Herts League and move ever closer to the drop in the Beds, but truth be told after playing five games in nine days it hurts to type and I really can't be arsed. It wouldn't be fair to highlight Jamie's misadventures of the past few days which have seen him stung by a wasp, get out-sprinted by Roger before falling over and punching the ball for four (Roger had it covered Jamie, just like he told you - the moral of the story being you should always Rely on Roger...), fail to take a wicket in two fruitless spells and then fall down while bottling attempting a catch and having to watch and wave as it bounced over his head for a boundary while he was on the ground. If he'd been any more challenged in that moment he'd have qualified for PIP payments on the spot. These escapades and many more wil...