Skip to main content

DG TIPS

 


Ahoy there, mateys!

Captain Dan here! 

I'm here to bring you this month's installment of tips, suggestions and hacks - and I don't just mean those slices I carve to point!

This month I'm going to offer my thoughts on toss strategy.

Anyone can lose the toss.

Boaty is a notorious tosser and invariably walks back to the pavilion having lost the toss to be informed he only has one job.

Obviously that one job isn't to score runs!

However, it takes someone with real talent to consistently win the toss and consistently make the wrong decision when it comes to choosing whether to bat or bowl.

This year I've won the toss five times out of six.

That means we've had the ability to dictate the course of the match five times.

And we're 17 points adrift at the bottom!

Even though we have no real batting depth or quality (in six matches we've recorded a solitary half-century), I've decided it's best that we should always bowl first, thereby allowing the opposition every opportunity to pile on the runs against our popgun bowling "attack" and enjoy their day out.

Then we can combine our lack of batting talent with scoreboard pressure to put a nice shiny ribbon on the gift of victory.

After all, just because we're not having much fun at the moment, why should that ruin our opponents' afternoon?

My policy worked surprisingly well in the first game when I chose to bowl on a boggy wicket at Hatch End. 

We actually won this game which clearly showed us to be a team who is best suited to chasing no matter what the situation.

Since then I've won the toss on an Offley road against Harpenden (lost by 48), a Kings Langley highway (lost by 88) and a Shenley flat track (lost by 138).

Those three run chases were so successful that in defeat we managed to accumulate the grand total of zero batting points!

When it comes to chasing we are the United Kingdom of Eurovision, a majestic doughnut of doom.

I hear that Bovingdon is a fantastic place to play cricket and if I can keep winning the toss and bowling, we are on pace to lose there by 188 runs in a couple of weeks!

In fairness when I won the toss on the flattest pitch anyone had ever seen at Offley against Ware, even I decided it might be a good idea to bat.

It was such a good deck that Matty Taylor recorded his career best of 45 not out as we piled up our highest score of the season, a hefty 166-4..... and lost by 8 wickets with 21.2 overs to spare....

All in all the stats aren't great.

But I appeal to any would-be mutineers who are dissatisfied with my tossing to consider one thing before they invite me to walk the plank.

The question you have to ask yourselves is are we a mere 17 points adrift at the bottom because I am the Dan With A Plan and have heroically kept us within touching distance of safety despite the lack of resources at my disposal (God bless rain and plague for the four games we've had cancelled), or are we 17 points adrift because the Dan Plan goes down the pan upon first contact with the opposition?

Don't all rush to answer at once.

I'll be back next month with another installment of DG Tips.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

BOAT AID

  It's not a secret. Everybody knows. League runs have been hard for Scott Boatwright to come by this season. Seven innings. 18 runs. Top score 6 (Before Dan ran him out - to be fair he did say he was going to get runs that day). Average 2.57. It's been hard going. But you can help. Because in 2021 it's not about orphans, or the homeless, or the starving, or about saving the rain forests. It's about Boat Aid. If everyone can find it in their hearts to pledge just one run to the cause we can really make a difference. Umpires - if the ball hits Boaty on the pads and the batsmen go through for a single, don't signal leg byes.  Give that run to Boat Aid. Scorers - if there's a bye or even a wide, don't be so quick to mark it down in the extras.  Can you not find a way to add it to Scott's tally to help him reach his goal of 100 league runs this season? Fellow batters - when batting with Boaty, can you not push for that second run to boost the Boat Aid total?

Player Profile #7: Josh Hook

  Cool. Calm. Collected. Not three words you generally associate with Offley's Mr Angry, Josh Hook. Well, maybe collected because he does like to be picked up whenever possible. The Boy With The Shit Tattoo came through the youth ranks under the expert tutelage of Darren Lunney and has been scoring runs for the Offley first team for over a decade.  Hook has now racked up over 6000 runs to rank fifth in the all-time standings and in a team littered with fading stars, has-beens and never-will-bes, he is invariably the candidate most likely to get to 20. Despite not owning a bat - something not generally associated with most leading batsmen - Hook's determination and idiosyncratic technique have helped him score four centuries - he is one of the club';s youngest-ever centurions alongside Mark Tattersall - while he has also added 30 half-centuries.  Hook currently has a timeshare arrangement with Lunney where he borrows his mentor's bat and holds him responsible for any fai

Player Profile #2: Mark Tattersall

  Once upon a time Mark Tattersall was young, reckless and mobile. These days he is older, wiser and more responsible and to be honest his mobility is of the kind customarily associated with scooters.  Over the years he has made the transformation from young tearaway to elder statesman and is now the chairman of Offley & Stopsley Cricket Club. Let that percolate for a moment; Mark Tattersall is our moral compass. Mark has also demonstrated a flair for organisation that has resulted in tours all around the world and is the brains behind the club's annual money spinner, the Offley Sixes. In a sense he has become the new Simon Warrington. That observation should impress him about as much as asking him to wear a Tottenham shirt. Just as at closing time at the bar he is invariably closing in on a double Jack Daniel's Honey, on the pitch he is closing in on the double of 5000 runs and 300 wickets. The youngest player in club history to score a century, Tattersall's batting re