Skip to main content

Player Profile #16: Ben Wiles


Few things in cricket are as terrifying as standing at slip while Harry Kane's brother by another mother, Ben Wiles, charges into bowl.

It is a sickening experience as you watch the ball pitch a yard wide of off stump before it swings dramatically and locks on to the target area in the middle of your chest. 

Evasive action is out of the question and there's no option but to try and parry it to the best of your ability.

Ben "Missed By" Wiles has struck again.

In fairness to Missed By - and to whoever has the misfortune to be standing at slip and gully - Offley aren't used to having bowlers who can get the ball up above shin height, let alone shoulder height.

When he's on song, batsmen have no place to hide. 

His 5 for 11 against Northampton Exiles improved on his previous best figures of 4-23 and single-handedly gave Offley a fighting chance of not finishing bottom in the Saracens League. 

However, when the radar malfunctions (as against Eversholt) it tends to go wrong in a big way and if one discards his two best spells for the club, the rest of his wickets have come at a cost of over 50, aided and abetted, it must be said, by a slip cordon who would soon as shit themselves as try and hold on to an edge. 

Ben differs in technique to most other Offley batters in as far as he actually possesses one. 

An accomplished player of both front and back foot, Wiles has the ability to score in areas that most of his teammates can only achieve via an edge of one sort or another. 

He began the season with a match-winning 84 not out against old rivals Lilley, an innings that included four boundaries in as many balls off venerable seamer James Ashby, an indignity that has rarely befallen that celebrated old stager. 

Blessed with a cannon arm and a reliable pair of hands, Wiles only tends to drop catches when he decides they're too easy and do not offer him a worthy challenge. 

Did You Know: Ben (third from left) was part of the UK's first ever Nude Synchronised Waving Team.


Popular posts from this blog


  It's not a secret. Everybody knows. League runs have been hard for Scott Boatwright to come by this season. Seven innings. 18 runs. Top score 6 (Before Dan ran him out - to be fair he did say he was going to get runs that day). Average 2.57. It's been hard going. But you can help. Because in 2021 it's not about orphans, or the homeless, or the starving, or about saving the rain forests. It's about Boat Aid. If everyone can find it in their hearts to pledge just one run to the cause we can really make a difference. Umpires - if the ball hits Boaty on the pads and the batsmen go through for a single, don't signal leg byes.  Give that run to Boat Aid. Scorers - if there's a bye or even a wide, don't be so quick to mark it down in the extras.  Can you not find a way to add it to Scott's tally to help him reach his goal of 100 league runs this season? Fellow batters - when batting with Boaty, can you not push for that second run to boost the Boat Aid total?

Player Profile #7: Josh Hook

  Cool. Calm. Collected. Not three words you generally associate with Offley's Mr Angry, Josh Hook. Well, maybe collected because he does like to be picked up whenever possible. The Boy With The Shit Tattoo came through the youth ranks under the expert tutelage of Darren Lunney and has been scoring runs for the Offley first team for over a decade.  Hook has now racked up over 6000 runs to rank fifth in the all-time standings and in a team littered with fading stars, has-beens and never-will-bes, he is invariably the candidate most likely to get to 20. Despite not owning a bat - something not generally associated with most leading batsmen - Hook's determination and idiosyncratic technique have helped him score four centuries - he is one of the club';s youngest-ever centurions alongside Mark Tattersall - while he has also added 30 half-centuries.  Hook currently has a timeshare arrangement with Lunney where he borrows his mentor's bat and holds him responsible for any fai

Player Profile #2: Mark Tattersall

  Once upon a time Mark Tattersall was young, reckless and mobile. These days he is older, wiser and more responsible and to be honest his mobility is of the kind customarily associated with scooters.  Over the years he has made the transformation from young tearaway to elder statesman and is now the chairman of Offley & Stopsley Cricket Club. Let that percolate for a moment; Mark Tattersall is our moral compass. Mark has also demonstrated a flair for organisation that has resulted in tours all around the world and is the brains behind the club's annual money spinner, the Offley Sixes. In a sense he has become the new Simon Warrington. That observation should impress him about as much as asking him to wear a Tottenham shirt. Just as at closing time at the bar he is invariably closing in on a double Jack Daniel's Honey, on the pitch he is closing in on the double of 5000 runs and 300 wickets. The youngest player in club history to score a century, Tattersall's batting re