Survival? Possibly

OSCC 141 (Goord 31) beat Northampton Exiles 88 (Wiles 5-11) by 53 runs

Captain Dan's Crew enjoyed something of a novel experience as they won for the first time since May to move off the bottom of the table and offer hope of a great escape.

Ben Wiles led the way with a lethal burst of 5 for 11 as Offley stormed home by 53 runs.

For reasons known only to themselves Northampton won the toss and elected to bowl on a scorching hot day.

Perhaps the Northampton skipper had been reading Captain Dan's Captaincy Pamphlet.

Despite prolonging Darren Lunney's miserable run (2), the bowlers were thwarted by a succession of solid contributions from the Offley batters.

Captain Dan led the way with 31, Wiles made 24 and there were runs from Scott Boatwright, Josh Scott and Hassan as Offley mustered 141.

At one stage Offley looked destined for a more substantial score but a late flurry of wickets saw them slump from 140-7 to 141 all out.

Boatwright and Scott formed the bread in an Ali sandwich as he was run out without scoring in the middle of them both departing for 19.

If imitation is the greatest form of flattery, Northampton Exiles paid Offley a huge compliment by constructing a scorecard which featured just two scores in double figures.

Wiles cut through the top order to leave the visitors reeling on 11-3 before a double strike from Jamie Cummins reduced them to 26-5.

There was no way back and despite recovering to 88, the game ended with Wiles claiming his fifth wicket, his maiden Michelle (Pheiffer) for Offley.

The result leaves Captain Dan's Crew five points clear of cellar dwellars Kings Langley and a trifling 41 points behind Hatch End who travel to Offley on the last day of July.

Depending on how the trip to Bovingdon goes on Saturday, Offley's fate could yet be sealed before August comes around.

Or Captain Dan could yet engineer one of the all-time great escapes.

Comments

Taylormade Triumph

OSCC, 164-8, beat Eaton Bray, 94 all out, by 70 runs Said Boaty unto Matty "It looks like you're the fatty" "It's weight of runs that matter And I'm the better batter" And so they staged a duel To see if weight would conquer all Boaty went out first And if not quite at his worst He scratched around a bit And really looked quite shit He played and missed a lot The inside edge was his best shot Then an Offley wicket fell And Matty heard the bell His breasts were seen to jiggle As he marched out to the middle His arse dragging in his wake The result of eating so much cake Off the mark was Taylor swift He gave the run rate a quick lift And while Boaty joined the dots Matty T played all the shots The runs began to flow Though the running was quite slow They spread the field for Taylor He had no fear of failure He smashed the ball for four Then he smashed a couple more But soon was breathing hard Though he'd barely run a yard Then at the other end Boaty ...

#WardyOut

OSCC, 181-4, beat Old Albanians, 154-9, by 27 runs It might have taken a while but on a day where skipper Marc Ward was absent in a bid to seduce Snow White along with six similarly diminutive accomplices, Offley finally found a way to win a game. Perhaps it was because Old Albanians were even more hopeless than Offley; perhaps because even a blind squirrel sometimes finds an acorn and on this day Dan Goord located the middle of the bat; and perhaps the addition of Ben Southgate, someone who clearly knows what he is doing, combined to lead Offley to their first league victory of the season. For some reason Offley, a team who can at times consider themselves fortunate to play on a needle-strewn, dog-shit littered, pikey-infested council wasteland, found themsleves playing on one of the premier venues in Hertfordshire and raised their game accordingly. They might have found a way to drop eight catches (in fairness only four players shelled a catch but each of them compensated by dr...

The Darkest Day

OSCC 189-8 beat Bedford 107 all out by 82 runs And so it came to pass on Sunday September 3rd, 2023, that the curse of Captain Scott was fulfilled as Scott Boatwright's men joined Josh Scott's hapless crew in taking the relegation plunge. After 26 years of cricket as Offley & Stopsley CC, the 2023 vintage have achieved what no one else could, or have indeed really come close to. The Double Dip. Offley headed into the game having lost 15 of their past 17 Beds League games dating back to the end of last season. Despite including four TCWs (Two Club Wankers) in Ben Wiles, James Barker, Kaiz Ul Haq and Little Man of Many Cubs himself, Rehaan Samdani, Offley failed to stay up despite inflicting a crushing defeat on Bedford, the one team in the division inept enough to finish below us. Kaiz made his highest score for the club, registering his first league 50 and top-scoring with 56. Wiles made 31 and Barker did what Barker does, namely running amok amid the tail like a ...

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