Skip to main content

Boaty's Weekend Wonderland

 


Some people say he's the messiah.

Some people say he's just a very naughty boy.

Regardless, Scott Boatwright, a man whose batting was (recently) so inept it prompted an appeal for leg byes to be donated to his tally, rose to the occasion at the weekend to lead Offley to two upset victories, one of which could keep the club in Division 7B. 

After all we wouldn't want to lose all the lucrative perks that come with playing at that exalted level.  

The stand-in skipper deployed his forces expertly on Saturday to mastermind a 54-run victory at Southgate that lifted Offley out of the relegation zone for the first time in months ahead of home game with basement boys Kings Langley. 

Offley's regular Sunday captain might have got a duck on Sunday (the Boat Aid appeal is evidently still in some need of donations) but thanks to the magical fingers of Rehaan Samdani and the batting brilliance (seriously) of Kaiz Ul-Haq, Offley stormed to a four-wicket win against promotion-challenging Langford to gain revenge for the recent 50 all out debacle.

Samdani's fingers blasted Langford into oblivion as he took 6-20 with a mixture of cunningly flighted deliveries that bamboozled the hapless batters as they capitulated for 134 with seven overs remaining after a strong start.

At one point Offley looked to be heading for defeat after Samdani fell for 37 (previous highest score 27) and the middle order powerhouse of Neale & Taylor proved as effective as the England opening partnership of Burns & Sibley. 

However, Offley were revived by a crucial partnership between muscle-bound maulers Mark Tattersall and Kaiz. 

Kaiz's response to receiving a pie is normally to put it in his pocket for later or slice it to backward point but on this day he dug in and hit four boundaries. 

Tattersall batted as Tattersall does, which is to say he hit six boundaries and didn't really bother with running.

Kaiz weighed in with a career-best 36* and Tattersall weighed in with 31. 

The pair actually weigh in at a combined 43 stone although people in glasshouses probably shouldn't throw stones.

All in all an excellent weekend for Offley, albeit a dire one for England with their latest test match fiasco.

Just think if you could harness the batting brilliance of Joe Root with the captaincy brain of Scott Boatwright....

And if you wanted to know what the outcome would be when you harnessed the captaincy brain of Joe Root with the batting brilliance of Scott Boatwright just watch this man in action some time....




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

High Five

 OSCC, 135-8, beat Harpenden, 134-9, by 2 wickets & OSCC, 205-2, beat Cople Argus, 135 all out, by 70 runs Offley's impressive start to the season continued as they made it five league wins out of five at the weekend with victories over Harpenden and Cople Argus respectively. Marc Ward won the toss and inserted a young Harpenden side, a decision that didn't look overly brilliant at one stage as opening bowler Mo Khalid missed the first ten overs of the contest and wasn't eligible to bowl until after the drinks break. Although this was rather unhelpful it did ensure that neither of the two men who live closest to the ground, Roger Piepenstock and Ian Peterson, bore the customary shame of being the last to arrive. Fortunately the match marked the first game of the season for ageless stalwart Steve Denton, a man who can still remember where he was when Kennedy was shot. Denton shared the new ball with the Sultan of Sialkot, Sensational Syed Shah, as Offley strove for early...

Taylor Swift To The Rescue As Offley Edge Home

  OSCC, 128-9, beat Kempston Hammers, 127 all out, by one wicket 24 hours after Syed Shah ran through London Colney like a dodgy kebab (kudos to the Kempston keeper for providing that one), Offley made it two from two in the Beds League as they staggered over the line at Kempston like Josh Scott finishing the London Marathon - coughing and spluttering but triumphant. Ben Wiles starred with bat and ball, Peter Gilkes carved the bowling to all parts with a match-turning innings, Matty Taylor dazzled in the field and Offley took the pitch with ten men before anyone realised they didn't have a wicketkeeper because Dan Goord hadn't arrived. The day began with Taylor answering a last-minute S.O.S. call.  Matty would be one of the first names on the sheet if he wanted to be but he prefers to play hard to get, a bit like a fat girl coquettishly pretending to turn down a third cheeseburger, sheltering behind the facade that he doesn't like cricket.  Like 10CC said, Matty doesn't...

Gubbed

  OSCC, 117-9, lost to Sandridge, 121-2, by eight wickets 'Twas on the 21st of June To Lilley we did roam Some cunts had hired our ground out So we could not play at home Two of our players dropped out We prayed it wasn't so But one of them was Roger So 'twas not a mighty blow Bex and Gary saved us They answered the late call Though Gary looked uneasy Far from the bathroom stall The pessimists said, "Call it off!" They said we had no chance They said our odds were feeble Just like Johnny's batting stance It was the summer solstice The day that never ends Just like one of Jamie's overs Due to all the wides he sends The mercury hit thirty It was really fucking hot Just like dear old Bradders When he threw a punch at Scott Wardy was our captain He'd never won a game And when you're talking leadership That's not a claim to fame It goes without saying That Wardy lost the toss And soon we were out batting On a wicket full of moss The ball leapt round...