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Staying Alive

 OSCC 224-4 (Hook 65) beat Hatch End 136 all out (Ali 3-34) by 88 runs


Dan Goord's All World All Stars ensured they live to fight again another day by completing the double over Hatch End.

The victory gives Captain Dan's Crew a chance of overhauling Hatch End to secure another season in Division 7B and also essentially eliminates (bar a massive fuck up) the prospect of sliding two levels into Division 8B next season.

With survival hopes on the line Captain Dan had no qualms about throwing some of his less competent crew members and called in the heavy artillery.

Steve Owen was called up for his first appearance of the season. C. J. McIlveen was hauled out of the recording studio where he'd been hanging with his bitches and laying down some beats and Josh Hook, occasional bane of Captain Dan's existence, was selected ahead of Kaiz Ul-Haq.

Captain Dan lost the toss but happily was asked to bat first by the Hatch End skipper. Goord and Hook sallied forth to open the innings and in a scenario very much unfamiliar to OSCC watchers this year put on 93 for the opening wicket.

Both batters played in their customary manner, which is to say Hook nudged and nurdled while Goord slashed and missed, occasionally making contact with something other than fresh air with one of his trademark cut shots.

Goord was finally out for 42 which incredibly meant he was not at the centre of proceedings as the next three batsmen were run out.

Hassan made a typically gritty 23 before he was dismissed. This was a new take on a familiar theme for Hassan who normally gets to 20 and then gets bowled before getting to 25. This time he was run out.

Ben Wiles entered the fray and proceeded to smash the ball to all parts. Their hadn't been such carnage at Offley since Wiles bowled against Eversholt earlier in the season.

Wiles hit six sixes in an unbeaten 61 and also picked up the wickets of Hook and Owen with some adventurous running between the wickets. 

Offley closed on 224-4 from their reduced allocation of 43 overs.

Hatch End got off to a flying start as McIlveen's opening over of the season went for 10 runs. It was a chastening start for the pace bowler turned rapper and he was immediately hauled out of the attack and exiled to the outfield.

Ali Shah and Wiles quickly halted the Hatch End momentum and although the visitors reached 55-2 at one point, the innings disintegrated in vintage Offley fashion as they slumped to 59-6.

Shah claimed three wickets and Wiles picked up a couple before Preme Lala wreaked havoc with his variety of lethal leg spin and unfiltered dross to produce the remarkable figures of 6-0-48-3.

Offley's bowlers and fielders were cheered on by an exuberant crowd who, fueled by a combination of alcohol and merry enthusiasm, may have overstepped the bounds of sportsmanship but that's life when you're fighting for survival.

Owen took three catches of varying degrees of difficulty to balance out Darren Lunney's three drops of varying degrees of simpleness. 

Goord, Hassan, Ali and Marc Ward also contributed to the tally of drops to no great concern as Offley cruised to an 88-run victory. 

The victory leaves Offley realistically needing at least three wins from their last five games to stay up. On Saturday they travel to Harpenden Dolphins to take on one of the six teams with a realistic chance of winning the title. 

Meanwhile Hatch End, who have somehow won four games despite getting gubbed twice by the Offley Massive, entertain basement dwellers Kings Langley as they look to stretch their 22-point lead over Captain Dan's suddenly revitalised crew. 

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