Skip to main content

Two Captain Scotts

 


Robert Falcon Scott - better known to posterity simply as Captain Scott - is one of the most celebrated explorers in history, destined to remember forever for his doomed trip to the South Pole.

Shivering his life out in a pathetic little tent, Scott wrote, "We are showing that Englishmen can still die with a bold spirit, fighting it out to the end."

He also noted, "We took risks. We knew we took them. Things have come out against us. We have no cause for complaint."

Offley's finest may have cause to remember those words in September following the decision to appoint not one, but two Captain Scotts to the captaincy this season.

Two men who have combined for three half-centuries in 158 innings, a return that suggests they have been elected for other skills than their prowess with the blade. 

Josh Scott steps up from vice-captain to replace Dan Goord on Saturdays while Scott Boatwright continues for another year in charge of the Sunday team.

Scott Duck Boatwright may not be the explorer Robert Falcon Scott was (in fairness despite ample evidence in the scorebook Boaty's middle name isn't actually Duck; it's Elton) but it's worth noting he has discovered a few more victories of late than Joe Root.

While Root has led a team to one victory in 17 attempts, Boatwright is fresh off another solid season of mid-table obscurity in the Beds League. 

At one point a promotion push seemed on the cards as Offley won five of their first even encounters. Unfortunately they lost six of the next seven which rather scuppered the promotion dream.

A man of the people, Boatwright likes to run his team as a democracy which means everyone is given the chance to fail with either bat or ball. Sometimes it seems there is a little too much enthusiasm to celebrate democracy as the batsmen and bowlers have both been known to fail spectacularly on the same day.

Occasionally some do both. Last year at Breechwood Green Terrific Tom Sadler sent down 12 legal deliveries at a cost of 37 runs and bagged a duck in what may have been the most inept performance ever by an Offley player.

Needless to say that's up against some pretty stiff competition. 

Over the years Boatwright has proved that captaincy does not affect his batting or his keeping. A career average of 12 clearly illustrates he is essentially, well, average, with the bat. That being said one hopes there will be no need to relaunch Boat Aid in 2022. 

His keeping has improved markedly over recent times and although chances still go begging on occasion, he no longer resembles a monkey banging a set of cymbals, more a frisky sea lion pursuing a fish.

Boatwright remains determined to lead Offley to promotion and lead them into the third tier of the Beds League for the first time in the club's history.

While Boatwright chases his promotion dream, the other Captain Scott must revive a team that spent much of last season discovering new and interesting ways to lose en route to relegation.

Scott has previous leadership on which to draw. Rumour has it he was once President of the Ben Mitchell Fan Club while he led Offley to the last four of the Hertfordshire Trophy (it sounds more prestigious if you call it the Hertfordshire Trophy and not the Hertfordshire Village Trophy) in 2018, a trophy that Offley would surely have won had Azeem Ansari not failed when it mattered most.

Scott has filled in on occasion for previous skipper Goord (Goord remains as vice-captain) so he is fully aware of the occupational hazards of turning up with nine players, having to bat on winning the toss rather than bowl because one car has got lost and the various other incidents that invariably seem to befall Offley captains. 

Obviously that does not even begin to take into consideration the need to deal with the abject lack of talent at his disposal. 

As a man who began his career at Offley as a spinner before turning to seam, Scott may prove more sympathetic when it comes to handling his bowlers than his predecessor. Whereas Goord motivated his bowlers with a Putin-style fear ("Go for more than three this over and you're off!") and rewarded breakthroughs with back-handed compliments ("Shit takes wickets!") Scott will be able to commiserate and empathise with the bowler who struggles to find his length while the fielders struggle to find the ball in the trees or nettles in which it has just been deposited.

Furthermore as a man who has floated up and down the order with mixed success (an average of 18 with the bat and 24 with the ball is the wrong way round for a proper all-rounder although pretty much bang on for an Offley all-rounder; or Chris Woakes in matches outside of England) he will know that batsmen don't get out on purpose.

Sometimes there's nothing you can do but accept you lack talent and ability as you waft a long hop to cover.

Division 8A may not be trembling at the prospect of facing Josh Scott's Offley just yet but time may yet prove otherwise.

As for Offley and their two Captain Scotts, well if anyone decides at the end of May that, like the late Captain Oates, they need to go out and may be some time, then it will simply be a case of history repeating itself.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Player Profile #26: James Barker

  Cricket is famous for some of its legendary brothers. On the world stage Australia have given the game the Chappells, the Waughs, the Marshes and the Husseys. England had the Smiths, the Bedsers and the Hollioakes. West Indies had Dwayne and Darren Bravo. Zimbabwe produced Grant and Andy Flower. New Zealand had Jeff and Martin Crowe. At a slightly less exalted level, Offley have featured the Tattersalls, the Hooks and the St Johns. Young tyro James Barker might not be related by blood to any other Offley player (apart from his dad who has played the occasional game) but he does have a role model and big brother figure to look up to in Jamie Cummins. This inseparable pair are more like the Trotter brothers, Del and Rodney, with JB assuming the mantle of naive innocent Rodney looking up to his streetwise older brother Del. JB and JC Rodney JB regards Jamie as someone he hopes to grow up to be just like - an accomplished cricketer and a man of the world with a fine taste in style and f

The Darkest Day

  OSCC 189-8 beat Bedford 107 all out by 82 runs  And so it came to pass on Sunday September 3rd, 2023, that the curse of Captain Scott was fulfilled as Scott Boatwright's men joined Josh Scott's hapless crew in taking the relegation plunge. After 26 years of cricket as Offley & Stopsley CC, the 2023 vintage have achieved what no one else could, or have indeed really come close to. The Double Dip. Offley headed into the game having lost 15 of their past 17 Beds League games dating back to the end of last season.  Despite including four TCWs (Two Club Wankers) in Ben Wiles, James Barker, Kaiz Ul Haq and Little Man of Many Cubs himself, Rehaan Samdani, Offley failed to stay up despite inflicting a crushing defeat on Bedford, the one team in the division inept enough to finish below us. Kaiz made his highest score for the club, registering his first league 50 and top-scoring with 56. Wiles made 31 and Barker did what Barker does, namely running amok amid the tail like a blood-

Can We Play You Every Week!?!?!

  Jono Evetts, 41, beat Stony Stratford, 35 (though they claimed it was 37), by 6 runs On a day where a bird shat all over Wayne Cutts's pristine white shirt, Offley's took a huge dump all over the title ambitions of their opponents Stony Stratford. Offley's bulk of biltong, Jono Evetts, set the stage for a sensational victory against Stony in a contest that not only threw the form book out of the window but also set it on fire and then pissed all over the smouldering ashes. Offley had not won a league game in more than 300 days while Stony had apparently not lost for three years, apparently after an exhaustive series of matches against the Sunshine Bus Second XI, Lady Zia Werner III's and the Northamptonshire Steelbacks. The visitors won the toss and, after inspecting the type of lethal surface that Princess Diana once did her best to outlaw, elected to bowl after their captain narrowly escaped having his leg blown off by a rogue landmine. Adam Ward plundered a couple