Skip to main content

Boaty Walks On Water

 OSCC, 206-2 beat Eaton Bray, 172 all out by 34 runs


Scott Boatwright's customary aversion to rain is caused by the fear that his lovingly arranged strands of hair will be swept away like a coastal resort in the face of a tsunami, something the renowned Bobby Charlton doppelganger can ill afford.

And yet on Sunday, for 111 deliveries, Boaty walked on water on his way to an unbeaten 89 and was cruelly denied a maiden century by the elements that reduced the game to 35 overs a side.

The good news for the rest of humanity was that a Boatwright century would invariably have marked the beginning of the end of days with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding forth to do their bit.

As it was the bold Boatwright (that's bold not bald) settled for a career best 89 not out, a score that is likely to produce an investigation into the charity Boat Aid and see it shut down for embezzling runs.

As befitting the conditions he made customary use of his textbook paddle shot, scoring the bulk of his runs behind the wicket, amassing 14 boundaries in all.

Boatwright shared a stand of 93 with Josh Hook for the opening wicket. 

Hook occupied the crease for 57 balls, eschewing risks with the air of a man who has as much faith in the Leeds United back four as an Offley batting order that featured Teenage Terrace Tearaway Jamie Cummins at number six.

Jono Evetts helped guide Boatwright to his half-century before departing for a seven-ball duck to leave Offley on 105-2.

This proved the cue for the laser show as Ben Wiles launched a devastating attack on the bowlers as he hammered an unbeaten 63 from 35 balls with a pair of sixes and eight boundaries. 

While Boatwright's wagon wheel featured its customary couple of spokes behind square, Wiles smashed the ball to all parts as he dominated a 101-run partnership to lift Offley to 206-2.

The Teenage Terrace Tearaway struck an early blow but Eaton Bray made a good fist of things as they reached 82-1 before Mark Tattersall, fresh from his latest holiday, produced a double strike to tilt the game back towards Offley. 

Evetts made the crucial breakthrough to remove Ashiq for 61 from 67 balls and after that the visitors were always floundering for survival amidst the depths of Boatwright's runs.

Cummins finished with 3-33 while Tattersall, Wiles and Hook all picked up a couple of wickets as Offley won by 34 runs.

And yet Cummins should not only have taken 4-33, he should also have claimed a hat trick.

Alas the Teenage Terrace Tearaway passed up the chance of a hat trick as he allowed a loopy return chance to fall harmlessly to earth.

In fairness to the youngster he probably surprised himself in that he had managed to produce three successive deliveries without serving up a wide.

Overall a missed hat trick and the result itself was largely immaterial on the day Boaty attained batting immortality and walked on water like an Offley Jesus.

Amen.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

R Don Stiffs Offley

 OSCC, 133-4, lost to Flamstead, 136-5, by five wickets Less than twenty-four hours after Scott Boatwright came within a single blow of a maiden century and Offley's fielders dissolved in the rain by dropping eight catches out of ten, the sun set on another season in the semi-finals of the Hertfordshire Village Trophy. A team bearing little resemblance to the one that had qualified for the last four, one that had been ripped apart by anniversaries, weddings and holidays, produced a spirited performance with a lineup held together by children's prayers and angels' kisses, relying on the presence of the Great Samdani to add a little stardust to proceedings. Following a delayed start due to heavy overnight rain, Ben Wiles inevitably lost the toss and Offley were asked to bat first on a green pitch tinged with green. Richie Barker and Dan Goord opened the batting, reprising the 2024 final where they shared an epic stand of 1 and were both back in the hutch within two overs. Aft...

Hats & Hat Tricks

  OSCC, 180-6, lost to Luton Town & Indians, 240-9, by 60 runs On a day where Shane Jones took a hat trick, two Offley batsmen walked off at the end with unbeaten half-centuries and Jamie Cummins sustained a torn hamstring that is certain to make him a slow-moving favourite among Tenerife's looky-looky men when he arrives on Wednesday (Jamie will be back on Sunday with his hair in cornrows, several Rolexes and a dozen pairs of sunglasses), there really is only one place to start. With Kaiz Ul-Haq's hat. Sporting a fantastic piece of millinery that made him look like a cross between Audery Hepburn and a slightly effete Indiana Jones and is available exclusively from Young Man at Roger's  as part of their Junior Arms Dealer Collection , Kaiz brought a touch of international panache to proceedings. Relegation-threatened Offley arrived at Potton to take on table-topping Luton and promptly lost the toss consigning them to an afternoon chasing leather in the sunshine. Had Cum...

150 Not Out: Boat Aid II

It would be easy to write the usual stuff after a hectic three games in four days that have seen us fight our way through to another trip to finals day, storm up to fourth in the Herts League and move ever closer to the drop in the Beds, but truth be told after playing five games in nine days it hurts to type and I really can't be arsed. It wouldn't be fair to highlight Jamie's misadventures of the past few days which have seen him stung by a wasp, get out-sprinted by Roger before falling over and punching the ball for four (Roger had it covered Jamie, just like he told you - the moral of the story being you should always Rely on Roger...), fail to take a wicket in two fruitless spells and then fall down while bottling attempting a catch and having to watch and wave as it bounced over his head for a boundary while he was on the ground. If he'd been any more challenged in that moment he'd have qualified for PIP payments on the spot. These escapades and many more wil...