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Boaty Walks On Water

 OSCC, 206-2 beat Eaton Bray, 172 all out by 34 runs


Scott Boatwright's customary aversion to rain is caused by the fear that his lovingly arranged strands of hair will be swept away like a coastal resort in the face of a tsunami, something the renowned Bobby Charlton doppelganger can ill afford.

And yet on Sunday, for 111 deliveries, Boaty walked on water on his way to an unbeaten 89 and was cruelly denied a maiden century by the elements that reduced the game to 35 overs a side.

The good news for the rest of humanity was that a Boatwright century would invariably have marked the beginning of the end of days with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding forth to do their bit.

As it was the bold Boatwright (that's bold not bald) settled for a career best 89 not out, a score that is likely to produce an investigation into the charity Boat Aid and see it shut down for embezzling runs.

As befitting the conditions he made customary use of his textbook paddle shot, scoring the bulk of his runs behind the wicket, amassing 14 boundaries in all.

Boatwright shared a stand of 93 with Josh Hook for the opening wicket. 

Hook occupied the crease for 57 balls, eschewing risks with the air of a man who has as much faith in the Leeds United back four as an Offley batting order that featured Teenage Terrace Tearaway Jamie Cummins at number six.

Jono Evetts helped guide Boatwright to his half-century before departing for a seven-ball duck to leave Offley on 105-2.

This proved the cue for the laser show as Ben Wiles launched a devastating attack on the bowlers as he hammered an unbeaten 63 from 35 balls with a pair of sixes and eight boundaries. 

While Boatwright's wagon wheel featured its customary couple of spokes behind square, Wiles smashed the ball to all parts as he dominated a 101-run partnership to lift Offley to 206-2.

The Teenage Terrace Tearaway struck an early blow but Eaton Bray made a good fist of things as they reached 82-1 before Mark Tattersall, fresh from his latest holiday, produced a double strike to tilt the game back towards Offley. 

Evetts made the crucial breakthrough to remove Ashiq for 61 from 67 balls and after that the visitors were always floundering for survival amidst the depths of Boatwright's runs.

Cummins finished with 3-33 while Tattersall, Wiles and Hook all picked up a couple of wickets as Offley won by 34 runs.

And yet Cummins should not only have taken 4-33, he should also have claimed a hat trick.

Alas the Teenage Terrace Tearaway passed up the chance of a hat trick as he allowed a loopy return chance to fall harmlessly to earth.

In fairness to the youngster he probably surprised himself in that he had managed to produce three successive deliveries without serving up a wide.

Overall a missed hat trick and the result itself was largely immaterial on the day Boaty attained batting immortality and walked on water like an Offley Jesus.

Amen.



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