Skip to main content

The Binary Boys

 


So let's be honest, the weekend did not exactly go according to plan.

We managed four wickets across two matches, dropped four catches, accumulated five points out of a potential 60, tightened our grip on bottom spot in one league, deep-sixed our promotion hopes in the other and spent precisely 38.2 overs in the field trying to defend woefully inadequate scores.

Let's face it, it was not the Alamo.

Which brings us on to the batting. 

It was perhaps the most inept batting display since the Black Sunday weekend of August 2009 where 29 Offley batsmen registered 22 single-figure dismissals including nine ducks.

19 batsmen were dismissed last weekend, 14 failed to reach double figures and six failed to get off the mark.

Perhaps even more impressive was that half of those batters failed to score more than 1, including Vince Neale and Callum Winters who both actually recorded their highest score for Offley; one apiece.

Even Ben Wiles, the one batsman who did score some runs - Ben accounted for 105 of the 211 runs scored off the bat - contrived to essentially demolish his own stumps attempting some sort of reverse sweep to end the innings on Saturday.

And the next day ran out two other batters.

In the same over.

Both for ducks.

This isn't about naming and shaming - I kicked off the Black Sunday weekend by getting out first ball of the fucking match on the Saturday - but more shits and giggles, an educational tool to encourage people to up-skill.

So here we go. Role call.....

Darren Karl-Heinz Lunney                                                             1

Kaiz Inzamam Ul Haq                                                                    4

Josh Terry Scott                                                                              

Josh Kevin Hook                                                                            5

Mark Osvaldo Archibald Garth Tattersall                                     6

Roger Marmaduke Humphrey Boswell Culloden Piepenstock      0

Vince Phil Neale                                                                             1

Rehaan Zain Samdani                                                                    0

John Steve Davis                                                                            1

Matthew Boris DeLancy Taylor                                                      0

Callum Icy Winters                                                                         1

Rehaan Zain Samdani                                                                    9

Peter Jeremy Gilkes                                                                        0

Jamie Lad Cummins                                                                       0

As you can see Roger Marmaduke Humphrey Boswell Culloden Piepenstock has more middle names than most of our batsmen managed over the weekend.  

Still, onwards and upwards. 

The fact we're playing the second-placed team on Saturday and the runaway leaders on Sunday should ensure everyone gets another go with the bat....

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

R Don Stiffs Offley

 OSCC, 133-4, lost to Flamstead, 136-5, by five wickets Less than twenty-four hours after Scott Boatwright came within a single blow of a maiden century and Offley's fielders dissolved in the rain by dropping eight catches out of ten, the sun set on another season in the semi-finals of the Hertfordshire Village Trophy. A team bearing little resemblance to the one that had qualified for the last four, one that had been ripped apart by anniversaries, weddings and holidays, produced a spirited performance with a lineup held together by children's prayers and angels' kisses, relying on the presence of the Great Samdani to add a little stardust to proceedings. Following a delayed start due to heavy overnight rain, Ben Wiles inevitably lost the toss and Offley were asked to bat first on a green pitch tinged with green. Richie Barker and Dan Goord opened the batting, reprising the 2024 final where they shared an epic stand of 1 and were both back in the hutch within two overs. Aft...

Hats & Hat Tricks

  OSCC, 180-6, lost to Luton Town & Indians, 240-9, by 60 runs On a day where Shane Jones took a hat trick, two Offley batsmen walked off at the end with unbeaten half-centuries and Jamie Cummins sustained a torn hamstring that is certain to make him a slow-moving favourite among Tenerife's looky-looky men when he arrives on Wednesday (Jamie will be back on Sunday with his hair in cornrows, several Rolexes and a dozen pairs of sunglasses), there really is only one place to start. With Kaiz Ul-Haq's hat. Sporting a fantastic piece of millinery that made him look like a cross between Audery Hepburn and a slightly effete Indiana Jones and is available exclusively from Young Man at Roger's  as part of their Junior Arms Dealer Collection , Kaiz brought a touch of international panache to proceedings. Relegation-threatened Offley arrived at Potton to take on table-topping Luton and promptly lost the toss consigning them to an afternoon chasing leather in the sunshine. Had Cum...

150 Not Out: Boat Aid II

It would be easy to write the usual stuff after a hectic three games in four days that have seen us fight our way through to another trip to finals day, storm up to fourth in the Herts League and move ever closer to the drop in the Beds, but truth be told after playing five games in nine days it hurts to type and I really can't be arsed. It wouldn't be fair to highlight Jamie's misadventures of the past few days which have seen him stung by a wasp, get out-sprinted by Roger before falling over and punching the ball for four (Roger had it covered Jamie, just like he told you - the moral of the story being you should always Rely on Roger...), fail to take a wicket in two fruitless spells and then fall down while bottling attempting a catch and having to watch and wave as it bounced over his head for a boundary while he was on the ground. If he'd been any more challenged in that moment he'd have qualified for PIP payments on the spot. These escapades and many more wil...