Skip to main content

The Binary Boys

 


So let's be honest, the weekend did not exactly go according to plan.

We managed four wickets across two matches, dropped four catches, accumulated five points out of a potential 60, tightened our grip on bottom spot in one league, deep-sixed our promotion hopes in the other and spent precisely 38.2 overs in the field trying to defend woefully inadequate scores.

Let's face it, it was not the Alamo.

Which brings us on to the batting. 

It was perhaps the most inept batting display since the Black Sunday weekend of August 2009 where 29 Offley batsmen registered 22 single-figure dismissals including nine ducks.

19 batsmen were dismissed last weekend, 14 failed to reach double figures and six failed to get off the mark.

Perhaps even more impressive was that half of those batters failed to score more than 1, including Vince Neale and Callum Winters who both actually recorded their highest score for Offley; one apiece.

Even Ben Wiles, the one batsman who did score some runs - Ben accounted for 105 of the 211 runs scored off the bat - contrived to essentially demolish his own stumps attempting some sort of reverse sweep to end the innings on Saturday.

And the next day ran out two other batters.

In the same over.

Both for ducks.

This isn't about naming and shaming - I kicked off the Black Sunday weekend by getting out first ball of the fucking match on the Saturday - but more shits and giggles, an educational tool to encourage people to up-skill.

So here we go. Role call.....

Darren Karl-Heinz Lunney                                                             1

Kaiz Inzamam Ul Haq                                                                    4

Josh Terry Scott                                                                              

Josh Kevin Hook                                                                            5

Mark Osvaldo Archibald Garth Tattersall                                     6

Roger Marmaduke Humphrey Boswell Culloden Piepenstock      0

Vince Phil Neale                                                                             1

Rehaan Zain Samdani                                                                    0

John Steve Davis                                                                            1

Matthew Boris DeLancy Taylor                                                      0

Callum Icy Winters                                                                         1

Rehaan Zain Samdani                                                                    9

Peter Jeremy Gilkes                                                                        0

Jamie Lad Cummins                                                                       0

As you can see Roger Marmaduke Humphrey Boswell Culloden Piepenstock has more middle names than most of our batsmen managed over the weekend.  

Still, onwards and upwards. 

The fact we're playing the second-placed team on Saturday and the runaway leaders on Sunday should ensure everyone gets another go with the bat....

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tales of a Teenage Terrace Tearaway

The cricket season may be getting into full swing and England may have a new captain, coach and whatever it is that Rob Key is called but there's no escaping the fact that football violence is hogging the headlines and the back pages.  These are dark days for the people's game. Unfortunately for OSCC there is an overlap. Because one of our own is both capable of terrorising opposition batsmen (when he actually manages to land the ball on the strip at any rate) and causing carnage, confusion and chaos among opposition football fans. That elderly youth is of course none other than Jamie Cummins.  The link below illustrates just what devastation Cummins is capable of when the red mist descends. Offley & Stopsley Cricket Club (@OSCricketClub) / Twitter On the cricket field Jamie Lad is a force of nature, chugging into the crease like an enthusiastic young librarian pushing a heavy trolley of books to spray the ball optimistically towards the batsman's stumps.  Or, occasiona

The Bald Eagle Soars

  OSCC, 111-0, beat Queens Park, 107 all out, by 10 wickets   If I had the wings of an eagle, if I had the arse of a crow I'd fly over Kempston tomorrow and shit on the bastards on below.... Offley opened their Beds campaign by sauntering to a 10-wicket win over Queens Park at Preston. On a day where Luke Munt sparkled with the bat and Ben Wiles caused mayhem with the ball, the real plaudits were reserved for a truly stunning catch by the bald eagle of Offley, Roger Piepenstock. Queens Park won the toss and opted to bat.  Still waiting for their new kit to be delivered - evidently a trifling concern to their chairman and kit organiser who was absent elsewhere dining on foie gras and caviar - Offley took the field in an assortment of different shirts, including those of Luton Bowls Club, Piepenstock's Fisherman's Club and bearded-maestro Peter Gilkes' Secret Santa Club. After four overs, despite having scored just 1 run off the bat, Queen's Park had advanced to 11-0

The Magic Scoreboard

 OSCC, 149-5, lost to The Spiritualists, 144-9, by 1 wicket (No, it's not a misprint, the book was added up three times and came to 144 but there you go) Many years ago Offley & Stopsley CC (and indeed going further back Stopsley CC) endured a contentious rivalry with a team who seemed determined to stretch the laws of the game further than Peter Gilkes' waistband. This predilection for the dark arts was somewhat at odds with their supposed spirituality and over the years Offley fell victim to a flooded square, an attempt to overturn a hit wicket dismissal on the grounds that the batsman had trodden on a pebble and it had spun back on to the stumps and myriad other incidents. On one occasion a Stopsley player wrecked his ankle, breaking bone and tearing ligaments and had to be rushed to hospital causing the game to be abandoned. Rather than offering up a prayer for the fallen, the Spiritualists got the arse because the match had not resumed.  On another occasion, when one f