The Offley Aquatics Centre

Offley & Stopsley C.C. are delighted to announce the opening of the new Offley Aquatics Centre on the site of the old pavilion.

The new facility features a shallow end in what was once the away dressing room.

The kitchen end boasts the deep end and enough water to encourage diving from the top of the kitchen worktop.

Elsewhere the site also boasts the Joshua Hook Paddling Pool for younger children who need time to cool off.

Unfortunately there are still no showers - at least nit unless the roof has also given way in the wake of this weekend's torrential downpours.

It is hoped the Aquatics Centre will also encourage wildlife - after so many ducks were seen in the middle last year there are expectations that they may make themselves at home in the pavilion wetlands.

With nets still five weeks away the opening of the Aquatic Centre means an opportunity to get ready for the new season and as the above picture shows, the Offley Synchronised Appealing Squad are already getting into action.

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Taylormade Triumph

OSCC, 164-8, beat Eaton Bray, 94 all out, by 70 runs Said Boaty unto Matty "It looks like you're the fatty" "It's weight of runs that matter And I'm the better batter" And so they staged a duel To see if weight would conquer all Boaty went out first And if not quite at his worst He scratched around a bit And really looked quite shit He played and missed a lot The inside edge was his best shot Then an Offley wicket fell And Matty heard the bell His breasts were seen to jiggle As he marched out to the middle His arse dragging in his wake The result of eating so much cake Off the mark was Taylor swift He gave the run rate a quick lift And while Boaty joined the dots Matty T played all the shots The runs began to flow Though the running was quite slow They spread the field for Taylor He had no fear of failure He smashed the ball for four Then he smashed a couple more But soon was breathing hard Though he'd barely run a yard Then at the other end Boaty ...

#WardyOut

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iBat; iBowl; iPad

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