Best Traps In The Club

Many years ago there was a pretty dreadful television cartoon series about the adventures of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

One of the villains was a fairly hapless imbecile named Trapjaw.

Among Trapjaw's most distinct characteristics were a metal jaw, a magical mechanical arm and impressive back muscles.

In many ways he was the Masters of the Universe answer to Offley's own Great Samdani.

Following this weekend's revelation that he has the best traps in the club (something that has never been claimed by anyone else anywhere ever) it's worth noting the comparisons between the Great Samdani and the steel-jawed villain.

The Great Samdani might not have a steel jaw but he has an eloquent lip.

While Sunday found him in the unusual position of trying to keep the peace (admittedly this was after he'd sent one of his six victims off in the direction of the pavilion) he has an impressive track record when it comes to finding himself in the eye of the storm, usually as a result of a helpful comment in the direction of higher authority or opposing batsmen.

This is invariably followed by a hurt and bewildered look when higher authority suggests the Great Samdani might want to put a sock in it.

Who can forget how he nearly made the Old Warden opener cry with his persistent entreaties about he couldn't pick the googly before the umpire got jolly cross and issued a good old fashioned telling off in an optimistic bid to assert his authority.

Darren Lunney might have caught the attention of opponents this year with his supposed buffoonish antics but when it comes to getting under an opponent's skin with a choice observation Lunney is no match for the Great Samdani.

There's no doubting the Great Samdani's magical arm.

He has taken almost 140 wickets for the club (And nearly twice as many runs; nearly! Almost but not quite) in his myriad stints in an Offley shirt (or whichever of his many clubs' shirts he was actually wearing on Sunday) while Sunday's return of 6-11 were his career best figures for Offley.

Therefore he has the jaw and the arm.

That just leaves the traps.

Needless to say no one at Offley has traps to compare to those of the Great Samdani.

Most of us don't know what it is and wouldn't be able to find it with the assistance of a diagram and a medical professional.

In contrast the Great Samdani's traps is quite magnificent.

We know this because he told us.

And as he's probably the only one at Offley who actually knows where the trapezius is (I thought it was something to do with acrobats and high wires), there's no reason to doubt him.

There's also no reason not to call him Trapjaw next time he says something helpful.....

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