The Ins and Outs (and Run Outs) of Hertfordshire's premier village cricket club, the one and only Offley & Stopsley CC.
All observations here are totally unofficial and not related to the club on any level.
Additionally, they are not intended to be helpful to anyone in any way.
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Player Profile #27: Bradley Lyons
One of the bright spots of the 2023 campaign has been the arrival of lower middle order stalwart and perpetually enthusiastic fielder Bradley Lyons.
Bradders - never Bradley and rarely Badly - has enjoyed a mixed start to his Offley career and is yet to taste victory in a league match.
Bradders bears an uncanny resemblance to former Offley star Josh Hook, both in terms of appearance, physique and a slightly dubious taste in tattoos.
His finest piece of art is of Spiderman, a work that appears to pay homage to a Fathers 4 Justice protestor rather than the original Marvel superhero.
His batting is improving like a toddler taking its first steps. You can't but help admire his enthusiasm but know it's only a matter of time before he falls over.
Or gets out.
After finally getting off the mark, Bradders doubled that with a nifty 2 and this weekend struck his first boundary.
He was stumped next ball.
Readers of a certain vintage will remember the good old days before Hagen Daz and Ben & Jerry's when the best you could hope for by way of an ice cream was something from Lyons Maid.
In terms of Bradders' batting exploits it's invariably a case of "Lyons made a duck" or "Lyons made a single".
However, the endeavour and commitment is there and it's only a matter of time before he's welcomed into the ranks of the famous Offley DFC (Double Figures Club).
His finest moment with the bat came in the 2023 Offley Sixes tournament where he enjoyed a Cinderella knock and hit four sixes in an innings to help his side reach the final.
Unfortunately in the five-over final Bradders turned into a pumpkin and mustered a couple of singles from a dozen deliveries as his side crashed to defeat.
Bradders has yet to bowl a single delivery for the club but he's already made his mark in the field.
Whenever he stops the ball and picks it up he is wont to regard it with childish wonder, holding it in his hand and gazing at it like Snow White looking at an apple.
This fascination with the ball invariably means he forgets to throw it back in quickly enough and often results in other players getting cross and shouting at him to throw it back.
The best example of this is when Darrren is bowling.
As a slow bowler with a quick temper, Darren gets very cross very quickly when Bradders finds himself mesmerised by the ball and unable to throw it back.
Everyone gets scared when Darren gets cross and starts shouting so we all hope the ball doesn't get hit to Bradders when Darren is bowling.
While he might not be blessed with elite talent, Bradders is seldom shy of having a word in the field.
He may not have sent any actual batsmen on their way but he accounted for his first umpire storming off in a huff against Preston with a couple of helpful observations.
Bradders has established himself as a natural Offley cricketer, a man rarely at home in the middle but happy with a pint in his hand after the game.
Did You Know: According to something I just read online, people with the name Bradley are often seen as charismatic, confident and natural-born leaders. We're looking for a new captain.....
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