Skip to main content

The Darkest Day

 OSCC 189-8 beat Bedford 107 all out by 82 runs 


And so it came to pass on Sunday September 3rd, 2023, that the curse of Captain Scott was fulfilled as Scott Boatwright's men joined Josh Scott's hapless crew in taking the relegation plunge.

After 26 years of cricket as Offley & Stopsley CC, the 2023 vintage have achieved what no one else could, or have indeed really come close to.

The Double Dip.

Offley headed into the game having lost 15 of their past 17 Beds League games dating back to the end of last season. 

Despite including four TCWs (Two Club Wankers) in Ben Wiles, James Barker, Kaiz Ul Haq and Little Man of Many Cubs himself, Rehaan Samdani, Offley failed to stay up despite inflicting a crushing defeat on Bedford, the one team in the division inept enough to finish below us.

Kaiz made his highest score for the club, registering his first league 50 and top-scoring with 56.

Wiles made 31 and Barker did what Barker does, namely running amok amid the tail like a blood-crazed doberman in a rabbit sanctuary, as he took 4-4.

A big shout out to Ben who put his early season league woes behind him to finish with a healthy average of 11.6.

Little Man of Many Clubs failed to take a wicket which was disappointing. 

Despite the victory Kempston's win over Eggington ensured they would stay up.

Boatwright's men finished the year on 158 points, 11 behind Kempston, a margin that would admittedly have been greater if they had not conceded to us earlier in the season.

In contrast to the other Captain Scott's crew in the Saracens League, a mob who finished 69 points adrift of safety, that might not be considered a bad effort.

Ultimately we played 25 league games (not counting concessions) and lost 20 while winning just five.

On those numbers alone it's hard to argue we deserved to stay up. 

Harsh critics would argue we don't deserve to exist but they can go and fart in a bottle.

Incidentally a big shout to Offley's biggest loser, Wayne Cutts, who appeared in six league matches and finished on the losing side each time.

Others featured on the losing side more times but none featured so often without actually experiencing the taste of victory so kudos to the club's own special needs Jonah.

Ultimately, relegation to Division Five leaves just one question as we look ahead to the teams we might face next year.

Where the fuck is Godmanchester?

Comments

  1. BEN WILES19 September 2023 at 01:29

    Unlucky the lovely Offley! Grrrrr, #promotion next year, yay!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

R Don Stiffs Offley

 OSCC, 133-4, lost to Flamstead, 136-5, by five wickets Less than twenty-four hours after Scott Boatwright came within a single blow of a maiden century and Offley's fielders dissolved in the rain by dropping eight catches out of ten, the sun set on another season in the semi-finals of the Hertfordshire Village Trophy. A team bearing little resemblance to the one that had qualified for the last four, one that had been ripped apart by anniversaries, weddings and holidays, produced a spirited performance with a lineup held together by children's prayers and angels' kisses, relying on the presence of the Great Samdani to add a little stardust to proceedings. Following a delayed start due to heavy overnight rain, Ben Wiles inevitably lost the toss and Offley were asked to bat first on a green pitch tinged with green. Richie Barker and Dan Goord opened the batting, reprising the 2024 final where they shared an epic stand of 1 and were both back in the hutch within two overs. Aft...
1 comment
Read more

Taylor Swift To The Rescue As Offley Edge Home

  OSCC, 128-9, beat Kempston Hammers, 127 all out, by one wicket 24 hours after Syed Shah ran through London Colney like a dodgy kebab (kudos to the Kempston keeper for providing that one), Offley made it two from two in the Beds League as they staggered over the line at Kempston like Josh Scott finishing the London Marathon - coughing and spluttering but triumphant. Ben Wiles starred with bat and ball, Peter Gilkes carved the bowling to all parts with a match-turning innings, Matty Taylor dazzled in the field and Offley took the pitch with ten men before anyone realised they didn't have a wicketkeeper because Dan Goord hadn't arrived. The day began with Taylor answering a last-minute S.O.S. call.  Matty would be one of the first names on the sheet if he wanted to be but he prefers to play hard to get, a bit like a fat girl coquettishly pretending to turn down a third cheeseburger, sheltering behind the facade that he doesn't like cricket.  Like 10CC said, Matty doesn't...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dotting Davis's Defiantly Dogged Determination Delays Dispiriting Defeat

  O SCC, 113-8, lost to MK Warriors, 171-8, by 58 runs Since the dawn of time man has sought to take on fresh challenges and scale new heights. Man has walked on the moon. Everest has been conquered. The 10-second barrier for the 100 metres has been shattered. Americans elected a massive orange twat as President.  Twice. Britain elected a gormless, unprincipled and spineless dipshit as Prime Minister.  So far only once but let's see where we are in another four years. Marc Ward won a game as captain. And yet as Sinead O'Connor might have put it, nothing compares 2 u, John Davis, on finally joining the Offley Double Figures Club (DFC) at just the 38th time of asking. Davis reeled off a breathtaking series of strokes as he scored a sublime 13 to lift his career average up to 2.378378378. Mysteriously and unfairly spurned as a bowler of late by a succession of captains, Davis has grabbed the opportunity to reinvent himself as a stoical middle order bastion of blockage. On a ...
1 comment
Read more