Gubbed

 OSCC, 117-9, lost to Sandridge, 121-2, by eight wickets

'Twas on the 21st of June

To Lilley we did roam

Some cunts had hired our ground out

So we could not play at home

Two of our players dropped out

We prayed it wasn't so

But one of them was Roger

So 'twas not a mighty blow

Bex and Gary saved us

They answered the late call

Though Gary looked uneasy

Far from the bathroom stall

The pessimists said, "Call it off!"

They said we had no chance

They said our odds were feeble

Just like Johnny's batting stance

It was the summer solstice

The day that never ends

Just like one of Jamie's overs

Due to all the wides he sends

The mercury hit thirty

It was really fucking hot

Just like dear old Bradders

When he threw a punch at Scott

Wardy was our captain

He'd never won a game

And when you're talking leadership

That's not a claim to fame

It goes without saying

That Wardy lost the toss

And soon we were out batting

On a wicket full of moss

The ball leapt round our shoulders

The ball crept past our shins

Stuck on a fucking minefield

For our unholy sins

Wardy missed a straight one

Goord was next to go

The umpire triggered Barker

Whose long walk off was slow

Wickets kept on falling

Things went all to shit

And when t'other Wardy chopped on

We feared that that was it

Bex top-scored with 20

It didn't looked enough

And though we batted 40 overs

Our prospects looked quite rough

Denton took a wicket

And Barker got one too

While Gary shook and shivered

And tried not to do a poo

They stormed right past our total

With half the game to spare

And watching Wardy walk off

You can tell he really cares

So that's another beating

On the Lilley Cabbage Patch

We'll try again next week

To see if Wardy wins a match

But right now at this minute

It's just another loss

And now the dust has settled

I couldn't give a fucking toss