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150 Not Out: Boat Aid II

It would be easy to write the usual stuff after a hectic three games in four days that have seen us fight our way through to another trip to finals day, storm up to fourth in the Herts League and move ever closer to the drop in the Beds, but truth be told after playing five games in nine days it hurts to type and I really can't be arsed.

It wouldn't be fair to highlight Jamie's misadventures of the past few days which have seen him stung by a wasp, get out-sprinted by Roger before falling over and punching the ball for four (Roger had it covered Jamie, just like he told you - the moral of the story being you should always Rely on Roger...), fail to take a wicket in two fruitless spells and then fall down while bottling attempting a catch and having to watch and wave as it bounced over his head for a boundary while he was on the ground.

If he'd been any more challenged in that moment he'd have qualified for PIP payments on the spot.

These escapades and many more will one day appear in an illustrated children's book called Jamie: The Enthusiastic Spastic which will tell the story of how one plucky youngster overcame his challenges to win acceptance and captain his cricket team.

Daniel Radcliffe is already showing interest in securing the movie rights.

Kaiz Ul-Haq also deserves a mention after an impressive innings on Thursday which ended when he ran himself out by about eight yards.

He also played an impressive innings on Sunday before being bowled attempting to hit the ball to Pluto - possibly attempting to emulate the Ardley Walkern batsman who had rather more success trying the same thing off a certain slow bowler on Thursday night.

In between Kaiz bowled a single over that went for 20 runs, at one point boasting the surreal figures of 0.1-0-11-0.

Also need to send a big shout out to JB who took four wickets yesterday and also scored four runs. 

JB is currently enduring what might called a "tough time" with the bat and currently sits 21st in the Offley run charts this season with 39 from six innings.

He might have Cook's bat but he's batting like that wanker from Masterchef

He's not the first Offley captain to struggle with the bat - as you will see if you read on.

On the plus side Marc Ward became the first batsman to 400 runs (just as he was first to 100, 200 & 300), Offley (population around 1,800) obliterated Harpenden (population around 32,000), Steve Bexfield took a stunning running catch at fine leg and Josh Scott and Steve Denton, proving tighter than Johnny's grip on the duck award, sent down miserly spells that combined conceded just 16 runs in 16 overs and produced 10 maidens.

Kudos also to Josh for not shitting himself on Thursday night when the entire middle order was carrying on like they'd just binged on laxatives and threatening to take a massive mid-wicket dump on our finals day hopes.

Anyway that's not the point.

I said I wouldn't write much.

Instead, as this is the 150th post on this blog (I do lead such a busy existence), rather than dwell in too much detail on the weekend, it seemed appropriate to copy and paste the post which has been comofrtably the most viewed over the last few years.

So journey back to a more innocent time when no one had heard of Andrew Tate, Donald Trump looked like a one-and-done President, Luton Town were yet to experience the thrill of the Premier League, Oasis were still looking back in anger, 24 all out was still a nightmare yet to be dreamed of and Scott Boatwright was searching high and low for a run.

It was the time of Boat Aid.




It's not a secret.

Everybody knows.

League runs have been hard for Scott Boatwright to come by this season.

Seven innings.

18 runs.

Top score 6 (Before Dan ran him out - to be fair he did say he was going to get runs that day).

Average 2.57.

It's been hard going.

But you can help.

Because in 2021 it's not about orphans, or the homeless, or the starving, or about saving the rain forests.

It's about Boat Aid.

If everyone can find it in their hearts to pledge just one run to the cause we can really make a difference.

Umpires - if the ball hits Boaty on the pads and the batsmen go through for a single, don't signal leg byes. 

Give that run to Boat Aid.

Scorers - if there's a bye or even a wide, don't be so quick to mark it down in the extras. 

Can you not find a way to add it to Scott's tally to help him reach his goal of 100 league runs this season?

Fellow batters - when batting with Boaty, can you not push for that second run to boost the Boat Aid total?

Obviously Dan, when pushing for that second run it means you need to commit to it and not change your mind halfway through. 

We're trying to help here.

It won't be easy - the fact Boaty keeps getting cleaned up in single figures means we don't have long to act.

He can't help himself, so let's do it for him.

Don't let the skipper sink.

Boat Aid.



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